


Letters to a Dear Stranger

by wanderlustlover



Category: Smallville, Superman - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-11-15
Updated: 2009-11-14
Packaged: 2017-10-02 19:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderlustlover/pseuds/wanderlustlover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A correspondence between Chloe and Clark once high school is over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Love Always

Dear Clark,

I'm on the plane now bound for this wonderful out of state college. I'm so psyched. It's like my dreams are finally coming true. Today college, tomorrow the world! And if I'm lucky then a job at the Daily Planet as an investigative reporter like I've hoped since becoming engrossed in journalism.

This plane is calm and quiet, with an eerie sense of being alone instilled in me. Most everyone is asleep now as it's nearing one in the morning. I keeping looking around this sleepy space and trying to find familiar faces. I keep getting reminded I'm the only one I know on this plane.

Did you know, ever even think, so long ago when we first met, that I would be the first one leaving Smallville out of out little circle of friends?

I never thought I'd be the first to leave. I always knew I would leave Smallville one day, but I didn't think I'd be first. I miss you and Pete. The three musketeers....or is it just a duo now? Do I keep musketeer status if I'm so far away?

I can't believe it'll be months until I see you again, Clark. Years on years you were the boy a drive away, the best friend who was there every morning, the crush, the person I dated, the person who was generally the love of my teenage life.

Such a long, hard, and well traveled road we have behind us, Clark. I'm so glad I had a friend like you to travel it with hand in hand even during the worst parts of it. I never could thank you enough for being part of my life. I think it was hardest to say goodbye to you at the airport even though we'll see each other in a few months at thanksgiving.

School! Wee! I know your thinking there goes Chloe, she's such a nutcase about it all, but I can't wait to start taking journalism classes. I can put up with a small cramped dorm room for that even. It's me; out in the world. Here I come.

I'd be silly to not say I'm not a little elated and scared about what will be in front of me when I step off this plane. I'm getting tired finally. I've been wide awake since early morning. Knowing I was leaving today I couldn't get back to sleep when I woke up at four this morning even after telling myself a million times my plane wasn't till that evening.

I should sleep some. Morning will come in the blink of an eye and I will be there. I hope your sleeping peacefully at home under the blanket of stars I already know I'll miss seeing fully.

Love always, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

It's been a few weeks in now. I'm getting into the swing of things even more than I was telling you the last time we talked on the phone. We write e-mails now and then, but every now and again I feel this urge to pull out a pen and a piece of paper and write a real letter to someone. To you or Pete or my parents. I even wrote one to Lana earlier last week, too. She had a long talk with me before I left, too. Even after becoming closer in the last few years it will always feel like there is a wall between us. It was nice though. I think I'll keep writing her.

Classes are wonderful. Most of my Professors are terrific, with the exception of Professor Pardnic who doesn't seem to know how to have a class discussion and only has long silent classes where we read from our text the whole time and answer questions during the rest of the time. Classmates are great. My dorm mates are even better. The ones I've gotten close to here on my floor are Tara and Aleena, odd since I've never had a lot of girls who are friends.

I've even made it in easy with the main group who hangs out on the ground floor in the poolroom. More guys there than girls. Most of them are older students, Juniors, Seniors, double masters, a few new like me. We're just getting to know each other though, but I think I fit in pretty well with their little group. The oldest trio are Mark, Cindi, and Tracey, in the middle are Joseph, Marie and Tristan, and at the end in being new are a girl named Caley and me.

Mark and Cindi are both well on their ways to being doctors with offers already coming in. Their also going on four years strong as a relationship, they joke about getting married, but when their alone together or you just catch them looking at each other across a room, you can tell there's no one else for them. Tracey's a poet who's been studying strong on poetry of any kind all his life. He shoots a mean game, too, but loves a verbal spar almost as much as he does his poetry.

Joseph is a die hard botanist, who moonlights as a reporter in the school paper. He's great at long debates and wants to take me horseback riding this week. I haven't told him I've never taken to it too well, but who am I to over look a Saturday out of my dorm. Marie is studying to be a social worker. She's had one of those die-hard lives that makes it harder to get to know her than anything else. She shoots a great game, loves to give pointers, and swaps jokes with me over coffee every time I'm up early in the morning. Tristan is studying to be doctor, too, and is sort of like this puppy who looks up to Mark. It's not that kind of pitiful thing, just really cute actually. Like an understudy. They -Marie and Cindi- help him study, memorize and keep him on track when he thinks he won't be able to make it.

Caley, on the other hand, I haven't gotten to know much about yet. She and I seem to have almost exactly opposite schedules, so I see her on an off chance of twice to three times a week, where as I see three to four of those people twice a day or more. She's sweet heart for so far as I can tell but a meeker, and shier thing I don't think I've seen. She's studying to be an choral major with a minor in child development on the side.

It's hard to imagine knowing so many people in an intense close circle now. It's so big. But I think I'm making it.

I seem to be fitting in great everywhere except one place.

The college paper. The editors a prick. He won't budge an inch. He has me running the most obnoxious errands and never getting to write anything. He doesn't have much faith in me it seems simply because "I'm a freshman from no-where's-ville". He doesn't seem to care that I ran the school paper, but he stopped a little short when I said I interned at the planet. He pretends most of the time that everyone around me, who's older and been there longer, is more important, can do more and that I am the gum underneath his shoe that just refuses to be scraped off. I will prove him wrong.

I will show him all the Chloe Sullivan can be. Joseph says to just keep at it, that I'll get there.

I hate to admit that I miss the Torch, the ease of everyone coming and going at my beck and call, putting the paper to print, looking into everything strange and different because it was my job. I watch him and I feel like I'm getting this new insight into myself. I will show him he needs me. I will show him I can do just as good a job as any of the other people in his paper room or maybe even better. I also have to admit I love the challenge, this driving force to prove myself. I haven't had to do it in a long time. I'm going to use any and every means I can. I could make an invincible person like Lex impressed with my tenaciousness.

More later, maybe even a call. Class in twenty and I have to get across half the ground.

Love Always, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

I have a date!!!

I know your laughing already.

But I do. I have a date with Joseph Crebnick.

And since there's no one else to bluster and blush at I'm going to write about it and you'll have to read it regardless. And if you don't want to just skip to the last one or two paragraph's where I promise it won't all be about me being all spastic and neat about this turn of events.

See the last thing I wrote you about him I said he was taking me horse back riding. Well, he did and it was a blast. Not only was it horse back riding, but it was a swim in a natural spring, and a picnic out in the middle of no where on a red and white checkered table mat. It wasn't even a date then, it was just friends hanging out supposedly since he has all these weirdo rules about not dating people.

I mean, well, not that he doesn't date people, it's just he's not wanted to date people while he in college because he'd rather just focus on school. He had that plan coming out to college. Of course it doesn't work, but according to Cindi he dates very rarely and usually with people he only finds very interesting and worthy of his spare time away from school.

Cindi says he really likes me. That he sees lots of possibilities in my future here already. She says to go for it and enjoy it all regardless of whether it stays a friendship or goes further than that. I think I agree. I'm in for it all, either way..but he is rather cute. Dark brown hair, light eyes and the very, very tiny freckles across his nose.

Joseph's been helping me with writing some small pieces for the paper. Just finding things writing them and dropping them on Cain, the editor, unexpectedly. Not that I need that much help to just find things and write about them but it's not like there are wall of weird, meteor-rock weirdo's popping out of the word work every where you look here. It's nice to have someone with my same goals and aspirations.

I've stayed up almost full nights debating all sorts of subjects in so many of my classes with him. He has a no holds barred sort of attitude where it comes to learning and all these ides flying around everywhere in his head. Whole nights spent in debate of poetry, philosophy, science, writing, teachers, friends, our pasts, everything. Even you.

The editor thing is getting better now. Class grades are great presently, grades all A's. I'm learning how to play a really great game of pool. Best ways to break, lead and heckle my opponents. I'm getting closest to Joseph and Tristan, though Marie and I are getting better over morning coffee every morning before class. I'm getting out to see a movie at least every two weeks, take in a show, or play, and a few others things. Their debating a clubbing night this Saturday as a group thing.

I'm looking forward to thanks giving already with it's wheat fields and it's color changing leaves back home. I miss the sky filled with stars so bright you didn't need street lamps. I miss porch swings and lazy nights spent in a yard, or a barn, or a remade movie theatre turned coffeehouse enjoy the simply life of the country. I miss fire flies at dusk. I miss the general casualness of fields of golden light rippling everytime I drove anywhere. I miss my mustketeers.

You can take the girl out of country, but you can never take the country out of the girl.

This country girl has to finish an article though, so I hope you realize your missed even this far away and that I can't wait to see you again.

Love Always, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

Wow. Four days till Thanksgiving. Two days till I leave. Four and half days of break. One Hell week. Then finals.

I'm already missing Joseph and the crew. It's funny that I think of him first whenever I mention them now. We've gone out a handful of times and hang out more than I can give count to now. We're not really a couple but I think we're grouped together by default already, which I don't really have a problem with. I have to agree with him, we're just testing out the waters, seeing if we'll work together.

But all I can think aside from how much I'm going to miss this pseudo new home, is I'm going home. It's like this mantra thing in my head. I'm going home. To that land of wheat fields and blue skies. My first visit home. I never tell anyone how much I miss home and usually keep myself too busy to let myself miss home but in the middle of the night, when my blankets are too warm and the air outside just doesn't smell exactly right...I remember home.

It's my thoughts then that make me yearn for never having left even in this whirl wind of knowledge and terrific life lessons. I yearn for a life that is all I know. The smell of clean fresh air. The same small group of friends every day doing all the things that kids will talk about from now till after we're gone. All the silly, stupid things.

I can't wait to see you and Pete. Even Lana. I'll probably give her a great big hug when I see her. I've realize I miss her, too. Did I hear right that we're all having Thanksgiving dinner together? All of our families in the Luthor House? I can't imagine that won't ruffle a million feathers but everyone together, making the effort on each side..but all of us together again, it's enough to bring tears to my eyes, Clark.

I miss you.

So much.

Two and half days till you'll all be waiting to welcome me off my plane as the last arrival (since Professor Pardnic is the only teacher who refuses to cancel his early morning Wednesday class). I can't wait, Clark. I feel like I'm leaving home just to go home.

But the funniest thing about it is when I close my eyes in my bed and hug my pillow in this elation that I'm going home I feel like I'm already there. I can smell the air there mixed with the scents of wheat and dirt and the life we've all grown up loving. I can hear the sounds of gentle chatter and feel the closeness of my friends already.

Two days, Clark.

Only two days, so why does it feel like five seconds away when I'm saying goodnight to Joseph and an eternity away when I'm thinking about being there?

Love Always,   
Chloe


	2. Love Always, Part II

Dear Chloe,

How many times will I have to say I'm sorry before you'll talk to me again? I must have said it a dozen times before you left and the way you looked at me when you left to board your plane -- you wouldn't even hug me, just that look, blank, scared and hurt. Pete just punched me in the shoulder after you boarded and said I was doing the Kent charm justice all over again.

I hated it.

I know what happened Thanksgiving night was a shock to me, too. Waking up that next morning, confused, but concerned. You we're gone. You weren't even there in the morning. I know where you'd gone. I know where you'd gone because you always went there when you were scared or angry. I knew you would have given me that flat stare then and not just before boarding the plane.

I'm sorry for the way it all started. I was stupid. You were home and I didn't realize till you were there and in front of me how much a void was there when you weren't. Between the classes I'm taking via the internet, helping my parents, and with everyone I must have buried it somewhere under all those stars, because now that your gone again I can't stop thinking about you and kicking myself.

I'd hate to loose your friendship, to loose you. Not over this. I don't want to think we've been friends so long that one night could tear us completely apart. You forgave me for the formal even. I know this is slightly worse, but this can't be the end of it. Please, write me, call me, send me an e-mail. Something, anything.

Love Always, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

It's been three weeks. You won't return my letters or my calls. The first time you answered the phone you hung up on me. The second time one of your friends told me you were not there, something that's a touch hard to believe since no one shares your room with you. The third time I got him. I guess that was the infamous Joseph we all heard so much about over Thanksgiving dinner when your parents asked.

He sounds...nice. I don't know what to say about him except he sounds like the kind of person I'd be over you if someone was hurting you. He told me not to call you back that you didn't want to talk to me any time soon and that I should leave you alone. You probably already know that though you were probably on the other end of the conversation.

I suppose I should be glad you found someone wonderful who's also willing to protect you. A new protector for you. I never imagined you having a protector, Chloe. You were always the one up in the person's face making your point, showing your fiery edge, getting them braced against the wall with the right side of your sharp wit. I knew it was worse when you refused to talk. I didn't think I'd hurt you that badly and I don't want to turn the tables on you and say it wasn't just me. None of us expected anything to happen that night. It was so odd, so unpredictable.

I really don't want to loose you as a friend, Chloe, but at this point it seems the only way to keep you is to let you go. To hope you'll still come back someday.

Love Always, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

I know I said I would leave it up to you and I have so far. Today I'm making one tiny exception before going back.

I just wanted to tell you the leaves have started changing colors again. Deep shades of reds, maroons, purples, orange and yellow. It's almost a time for long sleeve shirts and knit caps. Everyone was outside playing in the leaves, an interesting thing for people almost twenty and one person beyond it, but it was somehow completely care free and natural for us to do out of the blue.

Lana's going to take over the Talon so Nell can take a relaxing trip soon. Otherwise she seems to be

Pete is commuting to college and complains about it all the time. Lex says he stays now because the plant is doing so well. I know better, he feels more alive with us than any where else. He doesn't tell them....but I know. I can see it though. In the way he laughs, smiles, talks to all of them. There are these rare moments where you suddenly realize that he doesn't have any armor. It's just Lex and all of us. It's like for these moments in time there is no bad memories existing in him.

Somehow when we were all laughing and throwing leaves at each other it was like a ghost of you was right there with us all along laughing.

The missing piece of our circle of friends.

Now as I watch the leaves blowing around the yard from the loft, I can see why. I can see you twirling in the leaves the way you did years ago, crazy and free.

Love Always, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

I'm not sure what to say really now. I thought I was writing to a stone wall and suddenly this letter addressed to me from you shows up. I held it for an eternity not opening it. I carried it with me half the day dreading opening it. Dreading reading that you'd tell me to get out of your life for good. Dreading you'd tell me just where to stick myself and never come back.

But you didn't. I am saved by that small grace.

I wonder if there is anyone who can write a letter so well telling me everything about their life at present and nothing at all as well as you did. It felt hollow, like you'd done it for a task. I don't want to be a task to you Chloe, but I know I can't even say we could behave just as friends now even. Everything got so messed up. I know that you were hurt by the past holidays, but hopefully you'll see past them to still coming down for Christmas.

Dad finally got the land problems settled. We're building an addition on to the house now. I'm trying to avoid all the baby jokes that everyone throws around about the 'addition' to the house. It caught mom oddly the first time I relayed it to her. I can see that not being able to have children is with her always when I said that. She says it doesn't bother her because she has me, but somewhere deep down sometimes I wonder.

I feel like I'm doing okay in my classes...but something's missing Chloe. It's been missing since school ended. It's been missing since you left. It's missing everyday and I can't figure out what it is. Maybe it's not even specifically missing, but a need for something more just without the knowledge of what it is. We get only so many years as children and then suddenly we're teenagers in adult bodies trying to be our parents.

I'm imagining terrible things of me in my father's shoes now. I don't want to be a farmer, Chloe. I know how to do it, I do it everyday along with him when I'm not helping someone else. I will be something else..something important to me. Something that fulfils me and defines my life for the better. I just have to find it. Sometimes when the stars are shining very bright above me and I stare at them long, I feel I almost know what it is, but fast as it comes it leaves me.

It'll come to me one day.

We're hoping to have the house addition done in time for the holidays. I'm asking to their permission to throw a dinner party for everyone. Another dinner like Thanksgiving, all of our families together. Continue it this holiday, and the next and the next. Make it a new tradition that will bring us all home together each time.

Can you see Christmas in Smallville, Chloe? Snow on the ground and a tree lit up in the middle of the town? Cider and caroling? Snowflakes falling on to upraised tongues? Forts and snowball fights?

It won't be Christmas with you.

It's not home with you.

Please say you're still coming.

Love Always, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

Colder here already. Excuses for fireplaces in grand houses.

I had my first fire yesterday at Lex's manor. Playing chess in the main room with him, while he talked mythology and I just did my best to keep him off his balance. Didn't work very well, but it was a great night. Lex seems to be doing better now. His father's out of the picture more than he's in it. The plant hasn't had any big problems lately and Smallville is almost unnaturally quiet in wait for this holiday.

You can smell the change in the seasons. It's so wonderful. Decorations are already up in the windows of all the stores in town. We even put up a zillion decorations in the Talon last week. It took hours but the place looks almost magical.

I have this feeling like the first year is ending and it's beginning all over again, Chloe. The fist full year away from high school, away from the life that tied us all so closely together. The first true steps into our real lives. There's something wonderful and scary about it. I'm still at home. I didn't make the immediate leap into life you make everyday I've ever known you.

I feel jealous of the people who get that every morning now. The world has always been your oyster, Chloe, and no one was ever going to be able to keep you from it. The best of us get to watch you make it your own.

Mom has started putting out decorations. She just shouted up the stairs asking whether I think we need a new wreath for the front door. The tree is up but the ornaments aren't up yet. That was always our job. Yours, mine and Pete during the last few years. I told her to wait. That it'd be a few days later than normal, but that we'd get it done. Lana and Lex have mentioned an interest in joining into whatever festivities we're all doing that their welcome to. I told them I'd tell you and Pete.

Your plane gets in three days from now. Your holiday will be wonderful, Chloe. I promise. This time nothing will go even slightly wrong. Everything will be perfect. You'll see.

Love Always, Clark


	3. Sincerely Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The letters from one year after the events in 'Love Always.'

Dear Clark,

Sometimes I think you are the most insufferable southern boy I have ever met. Perfect Christmas my lily white ass. You always say it will be a perfect Christmas. You said so last year, too. I can't believe that was my second Christmas since leaving Smallville now. Not that it wasn't good, but perfect isn't exactly compatible with Smallville I don't think. I've seen the world, breathed in its life and part of me think I will not come back till I have had it all. Perfection has grown too huge to be sated now.

Christmas was fun though. White snow with black skies and streets of flickering lights where the use of candles on the tree made the entire street seem to glow. You're more right about Lex though I realize that each time I come home. He seems more real. Not like someone you'd meet in a grocery store, but the wall around him don't seem as thick as they used to be. We even went for a few walks and talked about many things about city life and everything else we could think of.

Was it my mistake or did I notice Lana and Pete working together to set the table for the dinner and giggling like little kids with a secret? I'm not saying he's trying to steal her from you, far from it, but it's interesting how much she's grown, too. How much we've all grown up since five years ago. It feels like the blink of an eye.

Thank you again for my Christmas present.

I'm not sure where you found it and positive that Joseph is the only other person back at school who will know why I melted into a puddle when I received an old typewriter.

Joseph. An interesting subject, since it was complicated just to look at him the first few days.

Especially after it happened again. For this time I think I realize it's not just your fault. Last time I could blame my myself, maybe the spiced and spiked cider, but not me. This time. My god, Clark, are we just a surreal comfort to each other? This solace we can find for a moment before returning so abruptly to that all too real and sharp reality of our lives, our two very different lives?

I didn't tell him. I doubt you told Lana either. I think we were both baffled by the occurrence. Especially baffled by it happening again. Nothing and no one to blame this time. And yet, this is my life Clark. This room, this school, these people here. I realized that going home. It's not specifically 'home' to me anymore. I went back to Smallville but I came 'home' to this room, this school, this family.

It was disturbing and comforting to find it this way. Most people feel home sick for home, I felt homesick for this life when I was gone with it. Not to say I didn't have fun, I really did. I had a blast with you, Pete, Lex and Lana, but I missed the others Marie and Joseph among those I missed most. I wonder what they would be doing for Christmas.

It made me feel hollow and half like I'd gone to Disney World but didn't know how to enjoy it at all.

I'm not saying I've made perfect sense of it, but I though after all we've shared I should tell you the truth.

Sincerely Yours, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

I picked up some extra art type class for this semester a few weeks back. Will you believe it, it's an art class and a creative writing class. I thought, you know, while I have the time at school why not start trying different types of things. Other options are a new sci-fi class, an in- depth poetry group (Tracey wanted me to take this one), choral music, instrumental/band, and a million and one other random little ones. I'm taking an extra journalism class because that's the only way Cain says he'll let me start publishing articles in the paper (he runs the class).

Well, creative writing was odd, especially since they decided to start with poetry. Why isn't poetry kept to poetry classes? The study of poetry is a different thing the teacher said, trying to write it is considered creative. Then we wrote short stories, then long stories, we describe pictures put up every morning or explain quotes. We debate the meaning and philosophy behind words, which makes me glad I took Latin in high school. It's helping a lot.

Joseph thinks a lot of my writing seems to be emotional baggage I like to carry with me. He says sometimes I put too much of me into the creative pieces I'm writing; not just enough of me and a lot of the idea. We've had some interesting discussion on that one that lasted till two and three in the morning and ended with me waking up in his arms, feeling sort of out of place, and oddly comfortable and safe. Maybe my prince charming isn't meant to be a country boy.

I did surprise the hell out of him though.

My art class the teacher said she'd give extra grades to people who were willing to participate as models so we could tell the difference between normal people and studied models. I applied to it. So there are paintings of me now. In practically nothing at all. Most of me, well the front part of me, is covered by a sheet I'm holding in front of me. We're given just a piece of cloth and told to pose however we want. Show up a little early to get comfortable with it.

Not that I think getting nude is something you can get all that comfortable with, but it was a pretty new experience. It's something I can say is behind me at least. I've been in school nude now and I didn't fall on my face in front of the cute boy, forget my homework or go running across a football field in it. I just stood rather still, after moving off the cold stool, holding the sheet to me in front and looking over my right shoulder.

I got to keep a few copies of the pieces done of me, and showed Joseph a few. (I even enclosed one to you. So you can baffle at the Chloe being brave, amused and in her mostly naked glory.) He said they were more real and like art, instead of baggage. Then he asked he was visualizing me naked and drawing these things. I sort of blushed and told him what I'd done. He just seemed to stare at me a while. Then he kissed me and told me we had to discuss this 'having to share Chloe's body with the rest of the world' thing.

I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell him about Christmas, huh?

Damn. Gotta run, journalism class in ten and I'm not a nude for that one, so wish me luck once you get this on getting in good with Cain even more.

Sincerely Yours, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

Not much is new this week. It's been a while since I wrote you again. It's almost spring break now and I've decided I'm not going to come home this time. Probably not wise after Christmas. I know it's been long, and I've missed you, too, but I'm going to go upstate and meet Joseph's parents. We're officially an item, I think. Which is definitely great. Can't tell you how much it's improved my bank shot.

Sorry. Couldn't stop laughing for a minute. The last time I told Marie she just gave me that look that says the wheels in the dirty part of her mind are working. Then she decides to share what she's thinking. I think I like her a lot. I miss her when she's not there in the mornings. It's becomes pretty much ritual with us. Every morning we discuss news, looks over homework, talk about gossip, what's bothering us. Sometimes I don't remember anymore that she's supposed to have this ultra hard shell no one can penetrate.

Maybe she was just looking for the right friend.

Mark, Cindi, Joseph and I are going on a double date to the theater in about an hour, so I'm sitting her half dressed up feeling all wonderful about it. Have I mentioned how much I like this attention that focus solely on me out of those beautiful eyes? No pressure, no promises, just lots of laughter and fun. I don't remember the last time I felt so free. It's kind of like falling, is this what it's like to actually fall in love for the first time after your not a teenager anymore?

Because whatever it is it's better than sex or chocolate so far in my book. I just want more of it. Cloud nine. I can't stop smiling when I think of his name. You'd thinking I was a grinning and blushing idiot. You'd laugh and I'd hit you with a pillow. Has it really been so long since the last letter? I'm getting lax in writing these letting school take over that time more. I was better at every day in high school. But then High School isn't like college no matter what they tell you.

The only thing that's stayed true from what was said in college was that everything changes.

Everything changes.

Sincerely yours, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

Just got home from Spring Break a day ago. Have I mentioned to you the blissfulness yet? Upstate it was gorgeous. I understood that his parents were well off, I didn't know how well off till we arrived. Fountains of roses in the gardens, the drive. So many colors all over and the smell. It was heavenly. I think the scent is still clinging to the clothes I wore. This smell of country land and the light perfume of roses.

I hate to think it'll be replaced by the smell of coffee and smokey air soon. Not that I'm not used to that by now but I cling to the fading memories and scents of this past week.

Want to know the scariest thing? I've decided that once again this semester I do not have enough to do. So two extra classes, a group that counts as a class so long as I stay with it and now (drum roll please!) I'm going to have job. I'm going to where a colorful long apron in blue and red, where my hair up always and get to know well the coffee junkies of my college. That's right. Chloe Sullivan the coffee shop girl. Oh, stop it. I can hear you laughing already.

It's not such a bad idea though. A job is another good thing to get under my feet. Cindi can't believe I won't just relax and enjoy all my free time that's not out of the classroom. I sleep my nights and enjoy my evenings, but I need to be doing more. I don't have a paper to run and a room to be in doing my job all day anymore. So now I'm going to serve latte's, cappuccinos, Italian soda's, normal soda, milk, water, and all other assorted café drinks and eats.

Marie just laughs at the notion of me as the Coffee Girl and says she'll spend more time actually in the coffee shop now. (Since usually we grab coffee and sit outside watching the day become bright. It doesn't compare to Smallville sunrises, but watching the dark sky turn bright is still wonderful.) It won't be bad. She's bound to tease me all to hell tomorrow (my first day), but after that if she does come, it'll give me someone to talk to.

It's odd having a girl best friend. Growing up it was always you and Pete. Growing up almost like I was one of the boys, just not so much a boy. Bare feet on logs and leaves from the trees. Marie. Well, she's different. She's wild laughter, odd ideas and spontaneous adventures in driving. We do all sorts of spur of the moment things at any hour of the day. Her most fond hour seems to be about two am right after I've gotten thirty minutes of sleep after four or five hours of studying something hard.

She is a breath of fresh air though. I realized that when I was running from Joseph car to hug her and start gushing about the trip. I missed her when she wasn't there in the morning. (I'm sorry I wasn't there in the morning.) We take long walks sometimes in the morning and debate the oddest things. I even told her about my Wall of Weird one morning. It's really a Box of Weird now. It's open under a blank wall. It's everything and anything I did for so many years. My proof that everything was all in my story.

I look at that blank wall, remembering the filled one, and I try to imagine whether I'm supposed to have a new wall to go with this new life in college. Nothing gets put on the wall though. Not posters, not notes, not reminders, not Wall of Weird stuff, but the box sits open just beneath it. I can't decided whether to put it up and I can't bring myself to just close the box and put it away. Sometimes it feel like that would be closing the last door on my life in Smallville.

It hasn't even been a full year yet, Clark. How is it that it feels like I've been gone longer?

Sincerely yours, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

Finals once again. I should be studying but instead I'm writing an article on the newest art gallery showing the school put on. It's not meteor rocks and portfolio's that would look terrific being handed to the Planet people, but its my first step. At least I've gotten to break him into letting me write. I get two small pieces in every article now. I keep pushing for more. Cain laughs and says there's no room.

He's not so bad a guy actually once you get to know him. He's a workaholic. He likes daisies (don't ask!). He drinks too much coffee, sleeps too little, and has a very small life that exists outside the papers' rooms. You can tell already that I'll get along with him terrifically. (He's only metioned it in passing but one of the older girls graduates this year and I may get her slot.)

So a zillion paintings and displays later I'm wondering whether I actually remember anything from the art class I'm taking. Some of this stuff looks like it was constructed in someone's kitchen out of just what they could find near them and I don't mean just the one titled "Ode to My Kitchen". Joseph laughed when I started sputtering and making up my own titles for each piece on what it said to me. He said my eye for art isn't as good as my pen for journalism.

He's right. Adorably so usually. I don't think I've felt this way over someone in a longer time.

Summers coming up and he's talking trips again. He said he wanted to look into doing Europe for a month or so. Can you believe it, Europe?!?!?! The boy thinks he should just check out Europe. He makes it sound like he's just checking out a library book to see if he'll like the first few pages. Then he suddenly asks me today when we're saying goodnight if I'd like to come with him as a guest, completely free of charge.

Did you hear that? Me, Chloe, asked to go to Europe. I laughed, I felt like I was going to faint.

Europe. I've been invited to Europe. For free.

I feel giddy. I can't concentrate on this piece at all.

Sincerely Yours, Chloe.


	4. Sincerely Yours, Part II

Dear Chloe,

Summer already, I almost can't believe it's here. Lex convinced us, and we in turn convinced out parents with a little wheedling, so all of us are bound for a summer away, too. Metropolis for a few weeks. It's not the same time your in Europe, so maybe you can join us a few days if you're free. It took lots of convincing to get my dad to let me go though not as much as I expected. Pete's parents were all up for him getting some time out of the house during break and Lana's aunt was a little hesitant but she's come around now.

I'll make sure to send the dates and phone numbers along with this before I close out the letter tonight.

We'll be staying in a large laid out place Lex said he got specifically so we were stuck on a Luthor Corp landing stripe. It's interesting to hear him talk about his father. No matter how far he comes from the guy I met on the road, each year seems to intensify that anger and hate inside him for his father. Sometimes it makes me want to wince the venom that can come out if the thoughts even connect up to his father, the cold and empty looks are enough. I wish there were ways to make them work it out or take them away from each other for good.

They seemed completely tied to each other regardless a chink in each other's chains and their chains are tied together so strongly by family, hurt, anger, money and who knows what. There could be so much more Lex has never told me. That he's never told any of us. I know his mother, his brother, and his nanny, all of them gone, stand between them completely. Lex is the son that Lionel didn't get to have his way except he seems to be becoming so much like the man he hates when he explains it all.

I try to be as helpful as I can to him, but there are places he shuts me out of even.

Sometimes I think Pete's sometimes still jealous of how much time I spend with him, but he (Pete) and I still go out and do things all the time now, not like when all this began and I started leaving him out of things - even accidentally. It's a wonder it's not Lana who'd be the jealous one for Lex taking up my time, or me taking up his, but she's never said a word about. They seem to be getting along fine. Ever since he helped her get the Talon up and running and continued to keep her challenged on what to do next they've seemed to remain pretty good friends.

Even though I spend time with Lex, I seem to find myself more and more with Lana and Pete. He called us the Three musketeer's one day. Lana just smiled, and Pete and I really didn't comment. It made me think of you so far away from us. You'll be even further soon. I know it's not for long, but you won't even be on the same continent anymore.

I'll miss you regardless of where you are, but I hope you have a blast on your trip.

Sincerely Yours, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

Love the post cards and pictures you've sent from Europe. You and Joseph look very happy in them.

Hey, did you even think maybe this thanksgiving or Christmas, maybe you'd come home and bring him so we can all meet this so far illusive name that makes our Chloe so happy? I know it's a million months away still, but you might want to consider it. We'd all like to meet the mysterious guy you come home and act bubbly about, if you're ready for that.

Tomorrow we leave for Metropolis. Lana seems to think it'll be wonderful fun all around and seems to be stuck picking out what to take. Pete has been over helping me in the barn most of the day, discussing all the details of tomorrow and what we know of the next few weeks. It's the top subject on everyone's mind, even all out parents. Numbers, cell phones, everything. It makes me laugh. You wouldn't think we were all almost twenty the way they act about it.

My dad tries not to act like it bothers him he has to trust Lex to watch over us should anything happen. It doesn't hide very well, but at least he's trying. He's getting more used to having Lex as a friend of mine and not the demented spawn of the devil which is what he must have thought first hearing Lex's last name. Okay, so their not perfect yet, but that kind of relationship is hard and Lex has always tried his best to help us or let us be.

I'm glad you'll be coming to join us during the last week we're up there. Can't wait to see you there.

Sincerely Yours, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

The condo is almost quiet at the moment except for Pete and Lana across the room shredding jokes at some soap opera. I was, too, till I decided to write you. We're waiting for Lex to get back from a meeting with his father and the board of directors. His words before he left was that they were just a joke really since they couldn't make any decisions Lionel hadn't already approved. They were just puppet figureheads. He seems colder, angrier and quieter since we got here.

It made me wonder, when he left slamming the door a little harder than normal on his way out, why he would want to bring us somewhere where he himself would spend that time unhappy.

Metropolis is not like Smallville, Chloe. I know I've said that before, but it amazes me to just stand there in the center of it all. No one seems to notice me staring in awe of this whirling, running city that never stops, never even sleeps. It's amazing. Always a show, a party, a meeting, a place to go, things to do, people going and coming in an unending sea of movement.

I've only had one moment where this whirling world stopped and stood still though. Just the fact that I can remember if it is not a dream is enough to put me to whit's end when I remember what happened. I can't tell Lana or Pete. I can't even think of anyone I could talk to about it. You'll be here before this letter ever reaches you, too. Maybe that's why I'm writing, so someone will know, even if not now.

It all started yesterday evening. The first dinner Lionel and Lex had went badly or so it seemed when he came home looking like he was going to kill something. He didn't hit anything or say anything, it was more what he didn't do and how much he didn't talk. He came back to us hours later than we expected. We'd been debating a movie in this ritzy place that everyone talks about when he did come back. He slammed the door once, and let it bounce open as he just walked away into the kitchen.

Lana went and shut the door, while I followed him to kitchen, Pete a few steps behind me. We found him, with his hands spread apart on the counter, clenched on the edge so hard his knuckles were white, eyes closed. I'm not positive but I think he was shaking. We asked him what was wrong and he eventually told us it was nothing new. That everything was the same as always.

He said he was going back out. It was his only response when Lana joined us in the kitchen and asked if he'd like to join us in the movie. He walked back to the room he was using and we all stood there confused. We eventually worked it out. Pete and Lana went on to the movie, and that I would follow him. So they agreed reluctantly but went. Lex left a few minutes after and I followed him. How I kept up I can't explain but I did for a few hours.

He stayed at a bar and then when I had gone to sit on a bench outside to take a deep breath, to wonder what it is was I was doing, I was surprised to feel a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up it was him, and he said in a somewhat slurred single breath that he had wondered whether I would join him for a drink or leave him to his drink alone. I just stared at him, I hadn't realized he was there. He may have forgotten his invitation because he sat down on the bench next to me suddenly.

He said that the city never changed in a way that made it seem like he'd wished it would. He said it was always the same games and lies with everyone, always. I told him he could just stay with us, leave his world behind, that we were his friends and maybe we could make it better for him. He just laughed suddenly, cold, harsh, and somehow for him, completely empty. It stilled all of the air for his next words, seeming to make them louder. He said no one in the city was anyone's friend really, so quiet I almost didn't hear him.

I placed my hand on part of his arm and told him I was. I meant to tell him Pete and Lana were, too, but it never came out. He just looked up at me suddenly. If I hadn't known him better, I would have thought he was about to start crying. Lex doesn't cry though, he says he only plays the game better on his side. But he looked like he might cry staring at me with this odd expression for a minute before he finally spoke again. Ever so quietly he asked me if I really meant it, but he didn't give me a moment to respond before he leaned toward me and kissed me.

Lex Luthor kissed me.

Stop rereading that line, Chloe. I can see you already, hands holding this piece of paper wondering why I didn't tell you in person, wondering why you didn't see it between us. I'm not even sure how I feel at all. I just know it happened. I'm not even sure he remembers, after all he was drinking heavily, since he hasn't said anything since he woke up this morning.

I had to get it out on paper and I had to tell someone I trusted not to make something of it right now.

Now I can't stop reading that line either.

At least someone else knows.

Well, will know, soon.

There he is again. I better go. Can't wait to see you soon.

Sincerely Yours, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

I guess this is the after letter to go with the one I wrote before you showed up in Metropolis. I'll mail them together once I'm done. You're gone by almost five hours now and we still have about twenty hours before we all head home, too. I'll miss this busy city more than I'm thinking I will. The lively city and its myriad people seem to pull to me. It was almost like these few weeks weren't enough.

Maybe I'll get to return to the city sometime soon. This city. Another city. I'm sure someday.

Smallville will always be my home, Chloe, but there's this huge world out there basically begging to be explored. I can hear it all the time. I want to go see it, meet it, find out all the secrets, learn things, help people, right wrongs.

Home, it's such a different word now. I'm debating going out of Smallville for school, or putting in for an exchange program. I haven't mentioned much of it to Lana; she seems so happy and content just to stay in Smallville. She doesn't have the urge to just get out of dodge and find the missing pieces of all the world. Pete mostly understands but he adores home, too. Maybe you'll understand, after all you were ready to be in Metropolis running the Daily Planet the day I first met you.

A fiery whirl wind we'd only be able to hold so long.

Lana says it's time to go catch the last tour and luncheon Lex wanted to take us on while we're here. Hope by the time this reaches you you're safe, sound and happy back home.

Sincerely Yours, Clark

* * *

Dear Chloe,

Almost Christmas again.

Can't believe you won't be up this year, even though I know you, and Joseph, were hear for Thanksgiving just a few weeks ago. It'll be strange. This will be the first time you haven't come home during the holidays. One less stocking, one less place setting...but you'll still be getting gifts from everyone. Hopefully you'll love them.

We're still planning to a have a large dinner. Lex even offered to help cook this year. I can't get over that. It makes me laugh anytime I think of Lex anywhere near my mother and the other moms in the kitchen. I'm not sure what he'll do but he'll find someway to try and make himself useful. He keeps his word, tirelessly.

I'll probably call and wish you a Happy Christmas Eve on your cell phone. So be expecting it.

I enclosed some of the pictures from Thanksgiving for you so you'd have copies. Hope crunch time isn't getting you down.

Sincerely Yours, Clark


	5. Your Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The letters from two years after the events in 'Sincerely Yours.'

Dear Clark,

I can't believe you're not in Metropolis. Sheesh, Clark, give a girl an inch and she's bound to trap you down into a small one bedroom apartment and staple you to the walls so you can't wander off. Or maybe that's just me. It's just taking time to get used to you not living just a twenty- minute drive away again. I can't just call you up and say lets have coffee, or come have dinner with me, or listen to me blather about this case for my newest article, or can I come and watch whatever new soap opera drama your watching with you.

I must admit to an envy of you now though that I hadn't expected. Traveling the world with your little, beat up leather suitcase with your little golden plaque that reads 'Clark Kent'. Being a drifter. Finding out all the little stories and truths you always do with those solemn honesty eyes and that easy going, always ready friendly smile of yours.

I wish you were going to be here tomorrow. It'll be what would have been Joseph and I's third anniversary. I've decided on locking away the scrapbooks, forbidding myself from chocolate chip cookie dough and any kind of sappy, romantic movie that could make me cry. I have terrible images of it already. Me, in baggy sleep clothes, clutching the spoon of cookie dough, watching Serendipity with photo books of the last few years spread all around me.

I can't believe six months ago I was secretly contemplating what it would be to marry him, having my two point five children with him in a summer house in Paris and he was busy diddling my best friend. I think the only thing more surprising to me in the past three years than finding out about Joseph and Marie (might I add here, that the best friend and the boyfriend saga is only supposed to soap opera material, not real life??), was you leaving Lana and Smallville for Lex and Metropolis.

I'm still baffled about what happened there since neither of you will talk about it or see each other for much longer than ten minutes before one of you leaves the room. I wonder what could have been so big that after longer than a year of seeing what would and could happen you both dropped each other faster and colder than anything I've seen in a while. No fights. No reasons. Neither of you willing to talk about it and not willing to spend time even in the same room too long with cold civility.

It's very annoying to the reporter. I'm supposed to have clues and detail that will lead me to my answers and the two of you are very unhelpful in that department. You just want it "left alone" or "let go of". Silly boys.

Dammit. That was Cain. He needs me to cover something happening right now and I have to get into work after that. Hopefully your well and having fun.

Your Friend, Chloe

P.S. Lana wanted me to pass it along to you that at the end of Spring Break their putting on another one of those infamous "Smallville Dinners" that are all your fault. Another bring us together dinner and catch up on each others lives. I didn't make it to any last year, so I'll be there. Hopefully, you will be, too.

* * *

Dear Clark,

When did Smallville get so small?

I don't remember it being so small. Not in my head. Not in my mind. Not even in the pictures. I know it never took that long to cross the town, even if it took all day to drive across full land lots. I know we only had one of everything we ever had in the main town and that there was never enough of a town to even have a part called 'down town'.

But I never remember it so small, even after coming from Metropolis to Smallville and back again. I knew it was a country it never seemed so small and the more I think about it the smaller my apartment feels right now, too.

It wasn't a bad dinner. It wasn't a bad visit. It wasn't a bad anything. It wasn't even specifically bad.

I arrived the night Spring Break started. Thought it would be good to get away for the entire week. Cain pouted at me a while, but he relented and let "his star" go home for a week. It was odd to here him call it home. I don't think I've called it home in years. I left Smallville for college five years ago now. Five long and short years, which will be over very soon.

I knew then that I was leaving home for good reasons. I also knew where home was then. I'm sure now on returning to the city that I'm not positive where home is now. Five years ago I would have said Smallville. Four years ago I would have claimed my dorm. If you'd asked me a month ago I would have said this apartment I've been living in for the last two years. They're all just places though. I'm missing that sparkle. That sparkle I haven't felt since Joseph left.

I saw that sparkle in Smallville. In every person, every face, every set of eyes. All the smiles between people. That glimmer in all conversations. That laughter behind all the jokes. I don't think I really saw one depressed person, one displaced being. Okay. So maybe that's a minor lie. But I'm not sure I can count you, me or Lex in you were much better at slipping back into place than me and Lex by far.

Dinner was fine and I was pleasantly unsurprised to see that Pete and Lana are blissful. Who would have thought back in high school those two would turn out to be the real lovebirds of all of us? Did you catch the whole pulling out the chair for the table and the way they did all the little cute things all night for each other? I'd be disgusted by the amazing cuteness of it all if I weren't overwhelmingly jealous of it.

Not that jealousy over Lana Lang's life is a new thing at all. I'm sure at this point it's so not news worthy that it was written all over my face a few times. But who would have guessed Pete, the ever desperate for a girl in high school, to show up latest and least expected as the great romantic?

It's not really just that though. It's not even anything I think I can put into words. Pete and Lana have that sparkle. All of our parents have that sparkle. All of that entire town has that sparkle. I don't have that sparkle. Even you have that sparkle somehow still. The only other person who I might say didn't was Lex, but I'm not sure there have ever been many extended periods when Lex ever sparkled though.

I actually sat and talked to him late during two of the nights about Smallville, Metropolis and things that had nothing to do with anything any of us really ever sit and think about. It's remarkable how we connected the second night. We've never really spent time talking much. We even talked about not talking when we were young (was Lex ever young, though?), so he invited me out to dinner in a few days.

Oddly, he reminds me of Smallville still. Of someone I still link with the past. But he's like me, too. Smallville laces in and out of his lifeline, and both of us began and ended here in Metropolis so far. I've so many questions about him, but I really don't want to set dinner completely off by throw all of them at him just at starting. Well, at least not this specific dinner. Especially since half the world can hardly get a hold of him, he hasn't given an interview in two years, and no less get the real him when he shows up is hard enough to hope for.

Wish me luck.

If you can without giving this letter that long soulful, half annoyed, half saddened look you get when you think no one's watching after they ask you something about Lex.

Besides it's not like I'm dating Lex. Most of the time all we do is walk. We meet for coffee, sometimes take in a meal or a show.

Your Friend, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

I'm not sure who's worse about me spending so much time with Lex now, you or Cain. I expected you. I didn't expect his suddenly vehement reaction. Even Lois doesn't really care that much except for pleading with me to get her an exclusive with him, since no one had gotten a piece on him in person in two years. She doesn't get your beef with him, but then I never told her you two were an item either. It didn't circulate well apparently.

I understand you're problem with it. Completely. Well, until we hit that little patch where I don't, which would be where neither of you will tell why your happy bliss of months ended sharply and suddenly and the fact you can't stand each other's presence.

Cain, though, I haven't the vaguest clue. Actually, that's not true, either. I have many clues, I'm just not sure about what they point to after all he's my editor and I'm his star reporter girl. I get that he doesn't like Lex Luthor at all, I grew up in a tiny town where no one liked the Luthor name at all, but sometimes I think it's more. I'm really flatter by the idea that maybe he does like me, but I've never looked at him that way and it's still too soon.

It's not like theirs even a thing to be jealous of. We're not dating after all. We're just spending time together, sort of like a pair of people who might understand each other. Most of the time we're alone even when we're with each other, and usually it's time spent in silence. We get coffee and take long walks, sometimes together, sometimes apart and come back together down the path.

Sometimes I think I don't know him, other times I think, maybe, I never met the real Lex Luthor the entire time we all grew up next to each other. Sometimes I think it was the loss of his dad, or maybe it's the city, or maybe you, but most of the time I don't know. He just looks so...lonely, deep inside his eyes. Like he's trapped somewhere no can get to, a pit no one can reach far enough in to pull him out.

There are times when we're playing chess or discussing some random topic that I finally see the light come into his eyes and it only serves to remind me that he's so very alone. I try to make it happen more often, but it always seems to happen at the oddest times and it never stays for long enough. What happened to him? What happened to push him so far away from everyone and everything straight into the hands of Lex Corps?

Your Friend, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

Okay. Fine. I get it. I should have told you Lex and I were dating.

I was going to. In person. I didn't want you to find out that way. I didn't expect to become newsworthy material just because I went to The Magic of the Night Ball with him as his companion, date, and whatever else they decided to call me in the article. I really was going to tell. This past weekend even, when we went home for Thanksgiving dinner.

To say the least, you blowing up at us while we were standing there that first night saying good-byes to everyone as we turned to go to separate homes, made for an uncomfortable end to what had been so far a comfortable night. I can't believe you would just come out and act in such a childish way suddenly. I do understand though. I don't like it, but I understand it. You're right. I should have told you sooner, but I felt a letter or a phone message, since we seem to miss each other too often now with the phone calls, would be too impersonal.

Well, we've got our share of impersonal now, don't we?

I'd say you could cut the tension with a knife between the three of us, except I don't think even a knife could get through it. Not that anyone noticed after Pete sudden show of charm the night before Thanksgiving.

We all sit down, some comfortable, some not, enjoy a simply dinner before the bigger one the next night and start talking about what we're thankful for. Suddenly Pete says he has something he wants to give Lana. Next thing we know he's pulling out a small gift-wrapped box which contains - ta da a little velvet box. Then he's spouting all this stuff about how he's loved her for so long and would she be his forever.

Tears and jealousy. Light hearted soft jealousy though. Who would have known? Pete and Lana are getting ready to be married. I'm busy going back to live in the city, with one boy who's happily content with me, and one who's seeing red when we start talking so that we fight. I hate fighting with you, Clark. It doesn't get easier the longer we're apart, and the longer we don't talk to each other.

It's been two weeks since Thanksgiving. You won't return my calls, so I'm writing a letter to be delivered to your home. Maybe your parents will know how to get it to you better than I will.

Your Friend, Chloe

* * *

Dear Clark,

I haven't heard from you in weeks. The silence you're sending is deafening at this point. Lex tries to calm me, but this sudden shut door in my life isn't something he can help much. I'm sorry if I hurt you that much. I'm sorry.

Where have you gone so far away?

When are you coming back?

Please, come back for Christmas.

Please, don't say this is goodbye.

Your Friend, Chloe


End file.
